1. A man of 90 was asked to what he attributed his longevity. His replay was *It*s probably because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and warried.*
2. Give up carnal relations and you will live longer, certain mystics claim. Actually, you may not, but it will probably feel like it.
3. Why is common sens like a rainbow? Because it never appears until the storm is over.
4. A mother came across her little boy looking through his grandmother*s jewelry box. Holding up the jewels, he announced with a look of surprise: *I think Granny*s a burglar!*
5. In youth, the absence of pleasure is a pain; but in old age, the absence of pain is a pleasure.
6. Our best chance of finding God is to look in the place where we left Him.
7. Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.
8. Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
9. You know, God does visit us. A lot. It*s just that most of the time we*re not at home.
10. You all laugh at me because I am different. But I laught at you because you are all the same.
11. Loneliness is a misunderstanding. It*s simply God wanting a private word with you.